Sunday, October 14, 2007

Sex Education at 30,000 ft.

By popular demand, the following is my 4-year-old's version of in-flight entertainment performed live on a British Airways trans-Atlantic flight this past summer.
It is July 2007 and
MIGHTY MOUSE has befriended the obviously pregnant German WOMAN across the aisle.

MIGHTY MOUSE: Do you have a baby in your tummy?

WOMAN: Yes, I do.

MOUSE: Is it a boy or is it a girl?

WOMAN: We don't know yet.

MOUSE: My friend Daphnée, her mommy has a baby in her tummy. It's a boy. They saw his penis.


(WOMAN bites her bottom lip, attempting to contain her amusement.)

MOUSE: Girls have labia.

WOMAN: Yes, they do.

(WOMAN cannot hold back and begins to giggle. HUSBAND--hers not mine, who is conveniently absent--begins to blush.)

MOUSE: Me and my mommy and my sister, we have labia. You, too.

(My turn to blush. WOMAN is laughing so hard she can't speak.)

MOUSE: My daddy, he has a penis.

(At this, every row within earshot bursts out laughing. MOUSE is none the wiser. She thinks the word penis is pretty funny, too.)

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