Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Border Crossings

It's a border I haven't dared cross for nearly eight years: that fine line between being a stay-at-home mother and a working parent. But these past few weeks I've come close, so close I could almost smell the ink on the pay stub. And it felt good.

It wasn't for the money---don't get me wrong; that would be nice---but more for the recognition, gratitude, and admiration that comes from working at something at which you excel. Motherhood is rewarding, but it's inherently lonely. Not that the Captain and the girls don't show their appreciation--they do. But it's a long haul, both for those who give and those who receive. The human body is a master at accommodation. We stop smelling, feeling, and hearing that which we sense all the time. We're not ungratious; it's just how we're wired.

As it turns out, I didn't get the job. Some day I will be the teacher a kid never forgets. Just not now.

7 comments:

  1. Oh Melissa I think your already an amazing teacher! Sorry to hear they didn't hire the right person. There is something else even better waiting for you right now.

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  2. What Sherry said.

    You're a great teacher already. Where would the Birkenstocks be without you?

    Chin up,

    another excellent teacher in waiting.

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  3. Daft! But as already said, you already taught many of us a whole heck of a lot!

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  4. I am sorry you didn't get it, but maybe that was fate telling you something else is waiting for you, writing, more time with girls, learning from your volunteering. The person they did hire must dance on water while singing opera with her mouth closed to be better than you would have been.
    Still it was practise for the future.

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  5. Thanks, everyone! The time will come. Until then, can anyone recommend a good place to stay in Champagne?

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  6. Sweetness, you're already a teacher - you teach those two girls every day - to be kind, polite, loving good people. They're smart, funny, interesting fantastic girls. Now if you could only work on Kirk ;)

    Aunty Jo-jo (aka mommy my this - as per Kailey)

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  7. i always find it so fascinating, how we women are torn between these two impulses (be a mom / be as 'something else'). neither alone will ever make us really happy. and yet both are so rarely possible together

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